i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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