Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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