Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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