I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
