did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
