I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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