I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
