this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize