sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
