there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There r osticjed everywhere
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
