Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
