why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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