i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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