let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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