I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
