too bad you live with your parents still
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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