Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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