Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
