Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
