Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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