He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You pole danced in your parka.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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