Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?