I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
