I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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