based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity