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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Really stoned

  (440): View more from Ohio

  just sent my roommate on a cheese run

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• (661): View more from California

  Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

  (1-661): View more from California

  What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.

  (334): View more from Alabama

  i do.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (631): View more from New York

  Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..

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• (760): View more from California

  You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  How can a condom be "half used"?

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?

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