my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
