I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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