u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
