I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
