trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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