OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Acid is not a monday night drug
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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