In the future we'll all be gay
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
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nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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