Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
