I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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