Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have aggressive nipples.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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