I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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