Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
