I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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