it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
