My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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