Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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