LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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