Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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