Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
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Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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