I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize