Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
