can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
