I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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