Christians are straight up FREAKS
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So vagazzling was a success
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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