i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
