I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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