trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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