Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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