Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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