Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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