yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
