Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize