Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
