one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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