someone threw a dead crab at me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?