Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
