im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
