Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize